


The Caring, Keeping, and Loving of Your Midgardian Scientist

by Ragingstillness



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bruce/Loki brotp, Lots of cute and fluff, M/M, Thanos is not a great dude and he's kind of the cause of all of this, again see author's notes for explanations, basically this is a non-sexual kind of slavery ish au, but he'll get his, hurt/comfort of the emotional variety, ok this is a weird au guys so strap in, see author's note for more info, the M rating is only for the weirdness of the au, this is not going to get nsfw, thruce
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 11:42:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18716362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ragingstillness/pseuds/Ragingstillness
Summary: Thanos came for Midgard and he came faster than anyone expected. With the Nine, now Eight, realms having banished him to the far end of the universe and Midgard vaporized, something has to be done with the 7 billion Midgardians who were evacuated from the planet.An unorthodox solution is offered. As reparations the Midgardians will be sold based on skillset to patrons in the other realms who will facilitate an exchange of skills and provide the Midgardians with whatever their hearts desire.Several decades later, Thor walks into the market, looking to purchase his first pet Midgardian and he couldn't be more excited.





	The Caring, Keeping, and Loving of Your Midgardian Scientist

Thor had been wandering the market for hours. Loki had given up on him long ago, wandering off to the magical artifacts sector of the market. It was really just auxiliary to the main purpose of the market, but Loki had no interest in the principal merchandise.

Pets. For all the market claimed to be an all-purpose event, it was clearly meant to sell pets to those with the deep pockets to pay for them and the interest in a decent time commitment.

Thor had finally been authorized to get a pet of his own by his father, having reached his 1500th nameday. But thus far nothing in particular had caught his attention.

The Engineers were all too unruly, laughing and babbling and almost jumping onto each other in their urgency to take apart the small trinkets they were given to play with and keep them quite as they were sold.

Although there was one with brown cowlicks and whiskey colored eyes who appeared to be holding court and Thor could have sworn Loki fixed covetous eyes on that one but when he looked again Loki’s face had been wiped of expression.

The Seamstresses weren’t useful to Thor, the royal family shared his mother’s Seamstresses and they were more than capable.

The Businessmen and Businesswomen were also unnecessary, Thor not being in the business of diplomacy or trading goods.

No, what the Crown Prince of Asgard needed was a pet that could entertain him. One that could keep him company but also contribute to Asgard’s advancement, showing themselves worthy of being the Crown Prince and future King’s prized pet.

It wasn’t slavery, the official charter of the Nine, now Eight, realms proclaimed. Midgard had fallen under siege from an outside enemy and while the other realms had managed to evacuate the Midgardians in time, their planet had been completely vaporized. They had nowhere to live, and with their short life spans and lack of magic they were limited in their usefulness.

Then someone on Svartalfheim had spoken up, making the controversial suggestion. The Midgardians’ representatives had strongly resented the implication that they would be sold away like cattle, but they were swiftly calmed with promises that it wouldn’t be slavery but instead a kind of apprenticeship, where the Midgardians could share their skills and have a companion to care for and house them in their short lifespans.

They were required to work for their keep, sharing whatever specialties they had and providing for the glory of whatever realm saw fit to take them in.

A system was devised by which the Midgardians would receive these benefits and, although it wasn’t stated to their faces, pay for the help they received from the other realms in their time of helplessness. Thus, the financial transactions by which Midgardians were evacuated from where they were refugees and taken to smaller half-worlds to be sold.

The process was remarkably civilized. Of course, there were a few small mistakes here and there, but the Midgardians were well treated, fed, clothed, provided with what they asked for, and no families or close companions were broken up.

With the sudden influx of Midgardians, their price was quite low, and most buyers went with the aim of purchasing more than one.

Those who married into their host races were also then considered a member of those races and not eligible to be sold. Their children were the same.

The transition had worked for most, the Midgardians scared and displanted and eager for a way to simply resume their lives.

Many high-ranking societies considered purchase of a Midgardian to be a rite of passage, much like the old Midgardian concept of squires and patronage. And now Thor was old enough to get his first. He hoped secretly that he would only purchase one. As Loki so often joked, Thor could barely take care of himself, caring for another living being would be enough of a challenge to his normal routines of sleeping until noon and gorging himself at feasts.

He had strolled past every enclosure, a mattress covering half the space and the other with a spongy mat for the Midgardians to stand and speak on.

There were only about two more rows and this planet’s third sun was about to go down. Thor had until the second sun rose to return to Asgard. But his pet would still require processing even if he found them and Thor had kind of hoped to be able to speak with his pet outside of the strict code of royal conduct in Asgard. He didn’t want to overwhelm his pet.

So many Midgardians already had traumatic emotional and mental issues, and he didn’t want to add more.

Thor glanced up towards the labels on the last couple of enclosures. One read Teachers, another Doctors, and finally, a particularly large one, Scientists. The other races had quickly learned that while mages and warriors had a normal, small number of variations, Midgardian science had so many different variations that it was just easier to group them all together rather than try to separate the physicists from the astrophysicists.

Thor sighed and gave himself over to more fruitless looking. He knew the managers of the market were getting nervous the longer the Asgardian Prince was disappointed and the longer his brother scammed the magic users out of their artificially inflated prices for magic items.

The Teachers yielded a few interesting Midgardians, but Thor felt like their didactic personalities would grate on him after a bit. The Doctors he ignored entirely. Asgardian medicine was one of the best in the realms already and no healer would be able to give glory to Asgard ensconced away in the healing wing of the palace all the time.

Finally, the last enclosure, the Scientists. They were milling around and talking over each other like the Engineers, but their babble confused Thor even more. So many terms were being thrown around that Thor had trouble even recognizing prepositions in the middle of some sentences.

Most were excited and up while a couple slept. Their bodies formed a wall around the center, blocking Thor’s view of them all. With a nod from the staff member manning the enclosure, Thor entered it. He was immediately bombarded with questions and curious faces, marveling over his armor and spouting theories about, the Bifrost? Maybe? Thor gently deferred them and tried to move through them so he could see everyone. The sleeping area was forbidden to be entered by anyone other than other Midgardians, preventing abuse from potential buyers and an invasion of privacy. Even the outer walls were spelled to project a single image of the first moment the Midgardian fell asleep until they woke up and walked to the other sector of the enclosure.

As Thor watched the magic creating the barrier between the two areas parted a little and a man walked out. He was still sleepy, rubbing it out of his eyes and yawning. And he was adorable. Thor actually felt his heart skip a beat in his chest. The Midgardian’s hair was even more floppy and cowlicky than the one that had caught his brother’s attention and it was a warm shade of brown that glowed beneath the two suns still up.

His eyes, though squinted, were warm and cute, focusing slowly but waking up with some swiftness. And when he came out the most curious thing happened. The other Midgardians moved away from him. Just a little, but it was noticeable. Thor frowned. They were afraid? Of this tiny man and his soft hair?

That, in addition to the Scientist’s natural sweetness, only convinced Thor further that he had found the pet he was looking for. He approached the man, catching his eye and holding out his palm in a gesture he knew the Midgardians used to greet each other.

The man shrunk back, but tentatively put his hand in Thor’s, moving up and down quickly before pulling away.

“Are you afraid, little Scientist?”

The Midgardian seemed shocked to still be addressed.

“Not, not really.”

Thor became more confused. “Then why do you not make merry nonsense with your fellows?”

The man looked up at that and his eyes had gained a wonderfully passionate shimmer. “It’s not nonsense and if the rest of the universe is too stupid to understand us, that’s hardly my fault.”

The Midgardian’s cheek amused Thor and he began to laugh, the big belly laughs he rarely showed in front of people who weren’t family or close friends.

“I shall learn better than to insult your Midgardian science in short order I believe. Is there anyone you would like to bring with you?”

The Scientist blinked. “With me? You, you’re buying me?”

Thor nodded. “I think you will be a wonderful addition to my household.”

The Scientist’s eyes only got wider. “Really? You, you’re sure?”

Thor laughed. “Yes indeed. Now do you have friends and family you wish me to buy as well?”

The Scientist instinctually shook his head then hesitated. “There are a few people I would like to remain in contact with but no one directly to take with me.”

Thor clapped a hand on the Midgardian’s shoulder, making the man jump. “Of course. In Asgard’s court you will be treated with the utmost respect and given any communication devices you wish.”

“Asgard? You’re from Asgard?”

Thor began to lead the man to the door of the enclosure. “Of course. I am Thor Odinson, Crown Prince of the Realm Eternal.” There was a chance he was trying to impress his new pet a bit.

The Midgardian paled and began to fiddle his fingers together. “Oh, uh, thank you, your highness. I will, um, I will try to be a credit to your house.” He straightened up near the end, fierce but terrified determination in his eyes.

Thor laughed again. “I’m sure you will be. And as my first pet you of course must call me by my first name. You are not a subject of mine, you are my first and most precious pet. I shall call you by the name you wish to be called and you will call me by mine.”

“Ok. Thor, um, it’s very nice to meet you.”

Thor inclined his head to the Scientist, leading him outside of the enclosure. “And what do they call you, my feisty Scientist?”

The Midgardian flushed and cleaned his glasses on his shirt. “Bruce, Bruce Banner.”

Thor grinned. “Well met, Bruce Banner. You will be celebrated on Asgard and given time to create with your science. I just have to finalize the purchase.”

Bruce nodded, looking still a bit star struck and confused. Thor approached the staff person manning the enclosure.

“I have found the pet I wish to purchase; will you arrange the necessary paperwork and bring me his things?”

The man nodded so quickly Thor feared his head would be damaged and rushed away. He returned with a few more staff members, a couple bearing a small series of bags and the others with the proper papers for him and Bruce to sign.

The process was over quickly, and a short charm was placed on Bruce to indicate that he was Thor’s pet and not to be confused with the pets of others. His things were easily loaded into Thor’s magic pouch, containing a pocket dimension Loki had created for him.

The now free staff members began to rush Bruce off with them. Thor inquired as to where they were taking his pet and the answer was readily and reedily given.

“He is not presentable, your highness. If you wish for him to be presented to the Asgardian court, he must be worthy of your status. We will return him in half of Midgard’s hours.” The man winked. It had recently become fashionable to tell time by Midgard’s silly 24-hour system. Thor did not understand why they did not simply tell time by the position of the sun. Bright light was morning, heat was noontime, and a lowering of the light was evening.

The man continued. “You are welcome to collect your retinue and wait for us at the launch point, information on your new pet will be provided to you at zero additional cost.

Thor nodded, the deal was fair. He walked back the way he came with a spring in his step, nabbing his friends effortlessly from where they had been lingering and with a little more difficulty freed Loki from the man he had been intimidating into giving him just a pinch more of wolfsbane he just needed a tiny bit more for the spell he had been planning for months just a tiny bit Thor!

A staff member came by about halfway through the snack Thor had been enjoying and handed him a short binder. Some of the information was specific to the pet Thor had purchased, but there were also the requisite information packets on Midgardians. There was also an extra packet, one specifically one Midgardian Scientists. Thor began to flip through that one to pass the time.

_“_ _In the current environment of displacement and trauma, the scientists are floundering for their work. These strays are full of love for the right home! They might be timid and shy at first but show them some love and before you know it they’ll be curled up in your lap telling you about their research. You’ll never find a friend as dedicated and loyal as a rescue scientist._

_But please be aware that certain species of archaeologists, geologists, and paleontologists can and do thrive in the wild! Some may enjoy being adopted into a loving home, but others are best left feral, as they cannot be fully house-trained and will insist on bringing dirt and mysterious rocks into your home on a near-daily basis._

_Also note that some scientists may be invasive species when abandoned outside their original habitat and may become confused and certain that their opinions on, for example human psychology are important because of their knowledge of their home of astrophysics. Please relocate them back to their range if at all possible before they cause too much damage.”_

Thor nodded to himself as he read. He’d have to ask Bruce what kind of Scientist he was. He hadn’t considered that they may have varied needs. Loki was bored with Thor’s choice, wanting to get home so he could play with his new hoard of magical items. Thor didn’t doubt his brother would disappear into his room for several days after, scuttling around protectively and hovering over his treasure trove. His brother really did remind him an awful lot of a dragon often.

Finally, the staff returned, bearing the Midgardian between them. He had been given new clothes to change into, a red tunic with a gold belt over it and simple black leather pants. It was simple, practical, and Thor’s colors. The Midgardian looked mostly pleased with his new appearance, but he was clearly displeased with how the staff had smoothed down his hair with some kind of mousse.

Thor personally thought it made the Midgardian look hilariously bad, but he held his tongue in front of the staff who had worked so hard to please him.  Thor held out his hand to the Midgardian again, who took it more readily and shook it once steadily. He smiled up at Thor and Thor’s heart did a silly melty thing that he was sure would have brought him to his knees in a softer pair of pants.

He was already looking forward to providing for the Midgardian’s needs. He couldn’t wait to see what the man would create with his mysterious science. A few more simple pleasantries were exchanged, and his new pet introduced to his friends. But once that was done, Thor merely had to step back into the Bifrost Sigil, a single hand on the Midgardian’s shoulder to keep him from being lost in the void of space. Thor smiled at his new Midgardian, raised Mjolnir and shouted to be returned home.

The rainbow column of light descended without fail, and then they were gone.

**Author's Note:**

> I realize fully that this is a bit squicky for some people, so I’ll put my promises and assertions out there right now. 
> 
> This is not going to get nsfw. There will be no ordering of menial chores or sexual favors. There will be no non-con, dub-con, or anything that could be considered non-con touching or invasion of privacy. This universe is no doubt messed up, but Bruce’s experience is going to be completely fine. 
> 
> Basically, he is getting a new home with complete freedom to do his research as long as he shares it if asked. So, the only real invasion he has to put up with is the inability to keep secrets about his research. There will be no particular discrimination besides perhaps some ignoring of Midgardians as they aren’t considered exactly on the same level as the Aesir. 
> 
> Bruce will have to attend events with Thor and spend time with him, but he will not be forced to do anything else and will be given a great deal of freedom to leave things if he feels uncomfortable. 
> 
> There will be no punishments for mistakes. Or patronizing rewards, except for the moments where Thor is confused about how to treat Midgardians because he’s been fed some funny misinformation. 
> 
> The charm placed on Bruce marking that he’s sold to Thor is not painful and it is not connected with Thor himself. It is simply a sign for people who meet him that he is not a lost Midgardian wandering around in realms he probably doesn’t understand. Also, if he is away from the person who owns him it is a sign he’s either lost or there is a good reason he’s run away and that is respect in cases of possible abuse.
> 
> Basically, this is a particularly odd way this universe has decided to deal with the Midgardians having a completely different set of skills and no home to live in alone. 
> 
> While it is still very morally grey, most everyone is trying to make the best out of a weird situation, and I do have a plot prepared where the Midgardians will all be freed to go to a new home. That may be a spoiler but I’m putting it here to reassure people. 
> 
> Also, I have to give huge thanks to @wetwareproblem, @archeologistproblems, and @unseenphil on tumblr for the hilarious post that inspired this story and some of their comments I thought were really funny.


End file.
